Once upon a time, I was a fat kid. I grew up to be a fat adult. Now, I hate the word fat! It does tend to grab people's attentions though. So, now that I have your attention, here is my story....
When I was about 10, I remember feeling overweight for the first time. I thought of myself as "fat" sometime around the age of 12. I remember shopping with my mother, she would encourage me to get clothes that were too large. That way they would hide the shape of my body. I also remember falling down the front stairs to the school and only thinking that it happened because I was overweight. Mostly I didn't see other girls that looked like me. I was different and in middle school that is the worse thing that you could be.
That was right before the accident.
My father was driving and I was in the back seat with my lap belt on. We were hit right behind where I was sitting. The car spun wildly. I was pushed into the seat next to me. I herniated 2 discs in my lower back. Then, I went to the doctor. He told me to stop all physical activities: no dance classes, bike riding, roller skating, running, jumping, etc. I was miserable and began to associate physical activity with pain.
As I got older my weight creeped up. By the time I reached high school, I knew that I had to do something. So, I began to exercise regularly and eat less (not better, just less). Things were looking up for me and my health, until I started college and became very depressed and withdrawn. I stopped losing weight and started slowly gaining again.
When I was 21, I was in another car accident. Again, I wasn't driving and all those old fears creeped back up into my life. I was lost. And then, to totally screw things up for me physically, I was in a work-related accident and hurt my lower back bad.
I knew that I needed to make some major changes though. I started eating a diet of fresh food, completely preservative free. I lost about 20 pounds. I was doing great and was at my lowest weight in my adult life.
After having my beautiful daughter, my weight went up and down for 7 years. I was struggling tremendously. At first, I was in denial about my weight. I had lost a good 40 pounds the first few months of my daughter's life and thought that the weight would continue to come off.
As a mom, I worked really hard on my body image and accepting myself. I knew that I was a beautiful person, but started sinking into depression. Postpartum depression is very serious and real. I had to climb out of another hole created by depression. This time, I was focused on my daughter. I knew that I had to get through the postpartum depression and not climb further down the rabbit hole.
