"Nearly New Life"

How do you write when there are no words left?

How can you find the image of what your heart can no longer feel?

Starting over is a precious and peculiar process that requires a stronger heart.

How do you breath when you've been holding your breath?

How can you see what has been in front of your face for years?

Redefining yourself and finding yourself is a trial only for the brave

How do you forgive yourself for being so blind?

How can you forget when it seems like a lifetime?

Creating a nearly new life.

"Memories"

Light shines through a broken window,
Into a dusty room full of forgotten memories,
Glowing memories that sparkle in the light.

I know this place well,
This was where I loved you.

The light grows dim and fades away,
The room grows dark and unforgiving,
So many memories lost in this empty space.

Tree

It is difficult to write about all that I am going through. The changes in my life remind me of something. Trees. That is what I feel like, a tree...

Trees are strong, beautiful, powerful, and rooted in the earth.

Trees are misunderstood and taken for granted. They are something that many people just don't notice. Trees are used up and forgotten by many.

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I am a tree.
My branches stretch wide towards the sky.
My roots burry far into the earth.
I am larger than life.

I feed the earth and the earth loves me.
My beauty is true.
My stance is firm.
I am amazing.

I stand tall and proud.
My spirit is wild.
My soul is ancient.
I am wonderful.

I am growing and sprouting.
My Spring is now.
My goal is true
I am a tree.

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The thing about trees is that not everyone appreciates them. They complain about the mess they make and say they are ugly, useless things (especially in the winter).  Well, just like the seasons I have gone through a messy fall and ugly winter, but now I am in my spring! My beauty and glory is lost on so many people. I feel sorry for them. To be so closed minded that they cannot see the true nature of a soul like mine.

This analogy wasn't easy for me because I am still growing and changing. I have felt ugly and useless. I had been taken to such a low place and struggled to get out. But I am now free to grow and understand that this has happened before just like a tree. We all go through messy times, ugly time, times of growth and then.... SUMMER! The time to show off how much you have grown.

My summer is coming. I can feel it so very close. I won't stop growing but I will be at my full glory. I know that it will be a long summer, too, as my growth has been true and hardy. That's the thing about trees, there are so many different kinds. My goal is to be an evergreen and keep my glory all year long.

I guess that's enough about trees. I am in such a wonderful place in my life right now and I am grateful to the people that have seen my beauty and strength even through my recent struggles. I don't remember the last time I was this happy and that makes me weep with joy. My life is becoming everything that I imagined it could be and more.

Joy to me, the tree!

"On the page"

i could never get my feelings on the page

it wasn't right

it was just what's left
leftovers from a better time

i still can't sort through my worlds, my feelings, my experiences
life is funny like that

i could never write about our love

passion was never a problem

it's still not right
and i am left

reaching out in the dark

i no longer search for you