Strut, prance, shake those hips.
Unnatural beauty,
pressed on,
sprayed on,
glued on.
These are little girls, not little dolls.
They are all princesses
on parade.
Feb 23, 2011
"Princesses on parade"
Little girls turned into princess dolls.
Strut, prance, shake those hips.
Unnatural beauty,
pressed on,
sprayed on,
glued on.
These are little girls, not little dolls.
They are all princesses
on parade.
Strut, prance, shake those hips.
Unnatural beauty,
pressed on,
sprayed on,
glued on.
These are little girls, not little dolls.
They are all princesses
on parade.
Feb 22, 2011
"Niki" part 3
http://melanieann1226.blogspot.com/2011/02/niki.html - Part 1
http://melanieann1226.blogspot.com/2011/02/niki-part-2.html - Part 2
With that one word, I heard forks drop as everyone turned to look at me. The steam from the corn drifted off into the wind and I felt utterly exposed. Everyone knew that I sent Jason to jail and that he deserved it for terrorizing me the way that he did.
I felt like I was in the middle of a horror movie, a bad one, last summer. It even sounds like a bad horror movie. He stalked me; when he found me, he beat me senseless; he was a piece of shit. Now he was out of jail. Less than a year. He spent less than a year locked up after tormenting me for two years. Yeah, it seamed fair. I didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want them to look at me the way that they were right now.
"Jason."
"Jason!"
"Jason?"
"What do you mean, he is back?"
Anna looked a bit scared. I'm not sure if she acts so protective over me because she introduced me to Jason or because she was the one that told me not to get to police involved. She was the one that knew him and said that he just loses his temper.
I don't blame anyone. I didn't even what them to know. I just want to sit quietly and look at the water. Why am I here at the cabin.
"I mean that when we all get back to town, he is out of jail."
Questions. Everyone came at me with questions, some rhetorical, most asking what I was going to do.
"What am I going to do?!?!"
Again. I stop everyone.
"This is shit! I'm not going to do anything! I moved on. I'm okay now. WHY would I DO anything?"
Screaming at the end, really put a stop to the friendly dinner.
"I'm going inside. To be alone. And no I'm not hungry!"
I never mean to take things out on my friends, the only family that I have, but they are there and cannot possibly understand. They don't get what I've gone through, but they still care. I don't know how to handle this news, so I can't expect them to understand.
I walked toward the cabin, when I didn't stop I heard everyone start talking again. At first it was low murmuring. But as my feet started to get damp from the evening dew on the grass I heard someone laugh. I was thankful that they were not going to spent the night talking about poor little Niki. I saw the evening star in the navy sky and closed my eyes to make a wish.
http://melanieann1226.blogspot.com/2011/02/niki-part-2.html - Part 2
With that one word, I heard forks drop as everyone turned to look at me. The steam from the corn drifted off into the wind and I felt utterly exposed. Everyone knew that I sent Jason to jail and that he deserved it for terrorizing me the way that he did.
I felt like I was in the middle of a horror movie, a bad one, last summer. It even sounds like a bad horror movie. He stalked me; when he found me, he beat me senseless; he was a piece of shit. Now he was out of jail. Less than a year. He spent less than a year locked up after tormenting me for two years. Yeah, it seamed fair. I didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want them to look at me the way that they were right now.
"Jason."
"Jason!"
"Jason?"
"What do you mean, he is back?"
Anna looked a bit scared. I'm not sure if she acts so protective over me because she introduced me to Jason or because she was the one that told me not to get to police involved. She was the one that knew him and said that he just loses his temper.
I don't blame anyone. I didn't even what them to know. I just want to sit quietly and look at the water. Why am I here at the cabin.
"I mean that when we all get back to town, he is out of jail."
Questions. Everyone came at me with questions, some rhetorical, most asking what I was going to do.
"What am I going to do?!?!"
Again. I stop everyone.
"This is shit! I'm not going to do anything! I moved on. I'm okay now. WHY would I DO anything?"
Screaming at the end, really put a stop to the friendly dinner.
"I'm going inside. To be alone. And no I'm not hungry!"
I never mean to take things out on my friends, the only family that I have, but they are there and cannot possibly understand. They don't get what I've gone through, but they still care. I don't know how to handle this news, so I can't expect them to understand.
I walked toward the cabin, when I didn't stop I heard everyone start talking again. At first it was low murmuring. But as my feet started to get damp from the evening dew on the grass I heard someone laugh. I was thankful that they were not going to spent the night talking about poor little Niki. I saw the evening star in the navy sky and closed my eyes to make a wish.
Feb 21, 2011
Feb 20, 2011
"Niki" part 2
http://melanieann1226.blogspot.com/2011/02/niki.html - Part 1
I sat there leering at the delicious banquet set upon the table. It smells of summer time and family; it makes me sad. I tried hiding behind the steam coming off the pile of sweet corn. My friends were immersed in conversation and digestion, when Jon looked over toward me. His glare made me feel uncomfortable, naked and exposed.
I sat there leering at the delicious banquet set upon the table. It smells of summer time and family; it makes me sad. I tried hiding behind the steam coming off the pile of sweet corn. My friends were immersed in conversation and digestion, when Jon looked over toward me. His glare made me feel uncomfortable, naked and exposed.
"Niki, why aren't ya eating?"
"I'm not hungry."
My voice is audibly wavering.
"You are always hungry. What the hell is going on?"
Everyone stops; Anna has sauce around her mouth, she looks like a vampiric clown. I want to laugh, but I stuff a fork full of potato salad in my mouth instead. They can't possibly expect me to answer a question like that with a mouth full of food. Right?
"Well?"
"Mrufth."
"Really, Nick? Tell us what's going on."
I freeze like a deer in headlights. All eyes are on me; I want to run. I want to scream, but these are my friends. We are a family, created in love and survival. I shouldn't been running from them; I should be running towards them. I stammer and stutter to find my words.
"Its bad, guys. Jason is back."
Feb 19, 2011
"Niki"
 |
| Image: Tom Curtis / FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
"You've got nothing to worry about, Niki."
I could have slapped her. But, Anna never knows what's going on. Its easy to give excuses to girls like Jenny, with her head full of air and all. It wasn't just her, nobody knew. How could anyone know? I never told them. This was my secret and my burden to bare. I would just laugh off their comments about my strange behaviors and topsy-turvy schedule.
"Niki!"
"Anna, I'm over here."
"What are you doing? You missed the craziest game," she paused trying to gage my lack of interest "anyways, din is on and we are all starvin'."
"Yeh, my toes are all raisins, so dinner sounds good."
I picked up my shoes and followed Anna. The katydids broke out in song as we climbed the hill back to the clearing. It was a sad tune. I regretted coming along on this adventure when I saw my best friends lined along picnic tables laughing, eating and living. I was dead inside and they could no longer help me.
Feb 18, 2011
a sestina: "Understanding love"
How do I know that I love you?
It is unbearable for me to look inside.
But, I have this feeling that bubbles up,
Whenever you are near.
This is hard for me to explain or even understand,
With as much as I don't know, I'm certain that this is love.
Every part of my being screams of my love,
And the name of my love belongs to you.
Still, my actions can be cold, cruel and not easy to understand.
I may pride myself in expression, but this I keep locked inside.
The explanation of this enigma finds itself near,
Yet my tongue gets tired and I give up.
The confusion sets in, as feelings and actions get mixed up.
You have every right to question my love.
I fight myself, me feelings, my actions and whenever you are near
I make an effort to fight with you.
Everything gets so distorted and disfigured inside.
We suffer from the reaction of my mind's rejection of what it cannot understand.
I fight with myself, with you, with my feelings just trying to understand.
So often I get tired of trying and just want to give up,
And yet, I don't because I feel love for you inside.
I remember the moment I realized that you are the one that I love.
We took some time to figure out the world and I lost you.
It was so very clique; you left when I wanted you to be near.
How could I have known, that the whole time you wanted to hold me near?
I drew away even more because I just couldn't understand
That you needed me and I needed you.
We were damaged, broken and fed up,
As it had happened in the past, we were, again, failing in love.
Pushing on with guarded hearts, we struggled inside.
I fight with you when I am actually fighting a war inside
And all I can hope for is that the end of the was is near.
Its time for me to look to myself and learn to love.
I'm starting to get it, to understand,
When I push and hide, when I give up,
It is me that need love, because it has always been easy to love you.
I think that the love I wanted to hide inside
Was always waiting for you to be near.
Its time for me to understand that loving you means never giving up.
A sestina is a complex French verse that contains a specific pattern of word repetition. For more info on sestinas: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/glossary-term.html?term=Sestina
It is unbearable for me to look inside.
But, I have this feeling that bubbles up,
Whenever you are near.
This is hard for me to explain or even understand,
With as much as I don't know, I'm certain that this is love.
Every part of my being screams of my love,
And the name of my love belongs to you.
Still, my actions can be cold, cruel and not easy to understand.
I may pride myself in expression, but this I keep locked inside.
The explanation of this enigma finds itself near,
Yet my tongue gets tired and I give up.
The confusion sets in, as feelings and actions get mixed up.
You have every right to question my love.
I fight myself, me feelings, my actions and whenever you are near
I make an effort to fight with you.
Everything gets so distorted and disfigured inside.
We suffer from the reaction of my mind's rejection of what it cannot understand.
I fight with myself, with you, with my feelings just trying to understand.
So often I get tired of trying and just want to give up,
And yet, I don't because I feel love for you inside.
I remember the moment I realized that you are the one that I love.
We took some time to figure out the world and I lost you.
It was so very clique; you left when I wanted you to be near.
How could I have known, that the whole time you wanted to hold me near?
I drew away even more because I just couldn't understand
That you needed me and I needed you.
We were damaged, broken and fed up,
As it had happened in the past, we were, again, failing in love.
Pushing on with guarded hearts, we struggled inside.
I fight with you when I am actually fighting a war inside
And all I can hope for is that the end of the was is near.
Its time for me to look to myself and learn to love.
I'm starting to get it, to understand,
When I push and hide, when I give up,
It is me that need love, because it has always been easy to love you.
I think that the love I wanted to hide inside
Was always waiting for you to be near.
Its time for me to understand that loving you means never giving up.
A sestina is a complex French verse that contains a specific pattern of word repetition. For more info on sestinas: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/glossary-term.html?term=Sestina
Feb 17, 2011
Feb 16, 2011
"Status update"
F.R.I.E.N.D.S.: (F)ight for you. (R)espect you. (I)nvolve you. (E)ncourage you. (N)eed you. (D)eserve you and (S)tand by you.
Reality can NEVER be as good as your fairy tale...... your fairy tale will NEVER be your reality... unitl someone can prove me wrong Im so living on a cloud!!!!!
be who you are and say what you feel... because those who matter don't mind... and those who mind don't matter.
Ten nine eight and I'm breaking away...
I'm all dressed up and I'm ready to play...
Seven six five four and I'm all over you...
Counting three two one and I'm having fun...
*some times love is too deep and you get lost in the notion . im glad i got someone by side each and every day . good night. ily .♥
Some people live in such small minds, I mean worlds lol "Just sayin"
Right click left click the scroll the mouse..
Damn you russel stover! how am I supposed to know what flavor is in the little chocolates if you don't put the legend on the lid!?!?!?
Im starting to feel as if I don't really need an artificial friend. Or have I always been this way?
"Once more, with feeling"
This is a form of "poetry" that I learned in a college class that I took. Really! Its about putting together things that don't really belong together, but that have a something in common.
These are ten real status updates from some of my friends (and myself). (I left out the more personal updates for privacy reasons.) I'm hoping that I can find the notebook from that class as we did some really far out styles of poetry.
I am going to put some pages up with examples of my professor's work (he is a "Digital Poet") and links to other pages about poetry & a page explaining my project.
Reality can NEVER be as good as your fairy tale...... your fairy tale will NEVER be your reality... unitl someone can prove me wrong Im so living on a cloud!!!!!
be who you are and say what you feel... because those who matter don't mind... and those who mind don't matter.
Ten nine eight and I'm breaking away...
I'm all dressed up and I'm ready to play...
Seven six five four and I'm all over you...
Counting three two one and I'm having fun...
*some times love is too deep and you get lost in the notion . im glad i got someone by side each and every day . good night. ily .♥
Some people live in such small minds, I mean worlds lol "Just sayin"
Right click left click the scroll the mouse..
Damn you russel stover! how am I supposed to know what flavor is in the little chocolates if you don't put the legend on the lid!?!?!?
Im starting to feel as if I don't really need an artificial friend. Or have I always been this way?
"Once more, with feeling"
This is a form of "poetry" that I learned in a college class that I took. Really! Its about putting together things that don't really belong together, but that have a something in common.
These are ten real status updates from some of my friends (and myself). (I left out the more personal updates for privacy reasons.) I'm hoping that I can find the notebook from that class as we did some really far out styles of poetry.
I am going to put some pages up with examples of my professor's work (he is a "Digital Poet") and links to other pages about poetry & a page explaining my project.
Feb 15, 2011
Feb 14, 2011
"Ruby Slippers"
 |
| Image: Tina Phillips / FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
will never take you far
Gliding down the rainbow
moves things along quite slow
You have to take the first step
to see what happens next
add a little flare to it, a little pep
Don't stand and wait
for someone else to open the emerald gate
Ease on down to your own tune
grooving along you'll get there soon
Be your own hero, write your own story
its not necessary to read between the text
Create your own ending of glory
Feb 13, 2011
"Memories 2.0"
there is a pulse
a beat
in my memories
images flash in my mind
smells and feelings rise up
into the mix
another flash
a face
a place
an object
frozen in time
i can almost touch it
taste it
hear it
the fog of forgetfulness
starts to seep
away my memories
faded like old pictures
but i will hold on
a beat
in my memories
images flash in my mind
smells and feelings rise up
into the mix
another flash
a face
a place
an object
i can almost touch it
taste it
hear it
the fog of forgetfulness
starts to seep
away my memories
faded like old pictures
but i will hold on
Feb 12, 2011
"Memories"
If I just close my eyes I can go anywhere
drifting back to when things where so much easier
simply living and not worrying about how to think
there is a certain pulse, a beat that comes though with these memories
smells and feeling that drift up to the surface
its hard to be there in my mind because I start to think
if I can push the thoughts down and just live again in the memory
I can be there
anywhere I want to be
immersed in being what I was
innocent, happy, free and hopeful
memories are tricky
when happy moments suddenly make you sad
they are only memories
how life was at one time
how I was at one time
I must hold on to the feelings that flood in with these freshly squeezed memories
when I was innocent, happy, free and hopeful
I can see myself, as if watching a home movie
but mostly I see things just the way they were
untouched by time, by progress
if I dive deep into my memories, I can feel the fabric of my life
I can feel my surrounding, smell the air, hear the sounds, see the history
I can be in that moment once again
when I really push myself, I can get lost in my memories
I can get lost and really feel things again
really experience things again, the way that I want to remember them
memories: flexible, pliable, and willing to be molded
taking me anywhere
drifting back to when things where so much easier
simply living and not worrying about how to think
there is a certain pulse, a beat that comes though with these memories
smells and feeling that drift up to the surface
its hard to be there in my mind because I start to think
if I can push the thoughts down and just live again in the memory
I can be there
anywhere I want to be
immersed in being what I was
innocent, happy, free and hopeful
memories are tricky
when happy moments suddenly make you sad
they are only memories
how life was at one time
how I was at one time
I must hold on to the feelings that flood in with these freshly squeezed memories
when I was innocent, happy, free and hopeful
I can see myself, as if watching a home movie
but mostly I see things just the way they were
untouched by time, by progress
if I dive deep into my memories, I can feel the fabric of my life
I can feel my surrounding, smell the air, hear the sounds, see the history
I can be in that moment once again
when I really push myself, I can get lost in my memories
I can get lost and really feel things again
really experience things again, the way that I want to remember them
memories: flexible, pliable, and willing to be molded
taking me anywhere
Feb 11, 2011
"Thinking"
I think in a straight line and that worries me because you cannot love that way if you look close enough you will see that love has more than straight lines it worries me that i will not be able to love well when i think straight that might be a bigger problem if i was busy thinking i'm not so i guess that everything will be okay
Feb 10, 2011
"Writing"
The words start to blur on the page
it seams like I've done all this before
Writing and writing
but getting nowhere
I can't tell if I've just started
or just finished
it seams like I've done all this before
Writing and writing
but getting nowhere
I can't tell if I've just started
or just finished
Feb 9, 2011
Feb 8, 2011
"Haiku 103" (aka Summer Grasses)
The soft wind blowing
Brown-green grasses bend and sway
The smell of summer
Feb 7, 2011
Feb 3, 2011
"Broken heart"
I don't know if I can love
I feel so far removed
A distant memory of rain on the roof
I put my heart in a very dangerous place
I regret that, now
I should have saved it for him
He deserves it
Complete and not the pieces that remain
It was broken and stomped on
I handed out my love to people unworthy
I regret that, now
Someone get me some needle and tread
This is an emergency
I need to put my heart back together
I want to give it to him
He truly deserves it
Oh, please won't someone help
My heart is all in pieces
And I don't know if I can love like that
I feel so far removed
A distant memory of rain on the roof
I put my heart in a very dangerous place
I regret that, now
I should have saved it for him
He deserves it
Complete and not the pieces that remain
It was broken and stomped on
I handed out my love to people unworthy
I regret that, now
Someone get me some needle and tread
This is an emergency
I need to put my heart back together
I want to give it to him
He truly deserves it
Oh, please won't someone help
My heart is all in pieces
And I don't know if I can love like that
Feb 2, 2011
"A journey"
You take me to a place that no one else canA place deep within my heart
It is a frightening journey but I am not scared
For I know that you can protect me
And guide me to safety
I know that you can bring me freedom from my monsters
I carry a sword crafted with the key to our victory
- love, caring and forgiveness
And you are my knight in shimmering splendor
Together, we can slay the beasts that haunt my heart
Then we will be free to go to that place of love
without fear
without damage
without hurt
Feb 1, 2011
"Snow globe"
I live inside a beautiful snow globe
It is quiet and serine, most of the time
Falling snow flakes are quite lovely
but when they stop, you live in fear
When will someone come along and decide
that my wonderful home is not good enough?
They pick me up with their own ideas
of how things should be,
Then they shake the hell out of my world
just to watch the snow flakes fall.
It is quiet and serine, most of the time
Falling snow flakes are quite lovely
but when they stop, you live in fear
When will someone come along and decide
that my wonderful home is not good enough?
They pick me up with their own ideas
of how things should be,
Then they shake the hell out of my world
just to watch the snow flakes fall.
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