"Niki" part 3

http://melanieann1226.blogspot.com/2011/02/niki.html - Part 1
http://melanieann1226.blogspot.com/2011/02/niki-part-2.html - Part 2

With that one word, I heard forks drop as everyone turned to look at me. The steam from the corn drifted off into the wind and I felt utterly exposed. Everyone knew that I sent Jason to jail and that he deserved it for terrorizing me the way that he did.
I felt like I was in the middle of a horror movie, a bad one, last summer. It even sounds like a bad horror movie. He stalked me; when he found me, he beat me senseless; he was a piece of shit. Now he was out of jail. Less than a year. He spent less than a year locked up after tormenting me for two years. Yeah, it seamed fair. I didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want them to look at me the way that they were right now.
"Jason."
"Jason!"
"Jason?"
"What do you mean, he is back?"
Anna looked a bit scared. I'm not sure if she acts so protective over me because she introduced me to Jason or because she was the one that told me not to get to police involved. She was the one that knew him and said that he just loses his temper.
I don't blame anyone. I didn't even what them to know. I just want to sit quietly and look at the water. Why am I here at the cabin.
"I mean that when we all get back to town, he is out of jail."
Questions. Everyone came at me with questions, some rhetorical, most asking what I was going to do.
"What am I going to do?!?!"
Again. I stop everyone.
"This is shit! I'm not going to do anything! I moved on. I'm okay now. WHY would I DO anything?"
Screaming at the end, really put a stop to the friendly dinner.
"I'm going inside. To be alone. And no I'm not hungry!"
I never mean to take things out on my friends, the only family that I have, but they are there and cannot possibly understand. They don't get what I've gone through, but they still care. I don't know how to handle this news, so I can't expect them to understand.
I walked toward the cabin, when I didn't stop I heard everyone start talking again. At first it was low murmuring. But as my feet started to get damp from the evening dew on the grass I heard someone laugh. I was thankful that they were not going to spent the night talking about poor little Niki. I saw the evening star in the navy sky and closed my eyes to make a wish.

"Niki" part 2

http://melanieann1226.blogspot.com/2011/02/niki.html - Part 1

I sat there leering at the delicious banquet set upon the table. It smells of summer time and family; it makes me sad. I tried hiding behind the steam coming off the pile of sweet corn. My friends were immersed in conversation and digestion, when Jon looked over toward me. His glare made me feel uncomfortable, naked and exposed.

"Niki, why aren't ya eating?"

"I'm not hungry."

My voice is audibly wavering.

"You are always hungry. What the hell is going on?"

Everyone stops; Anna has sauce around her mouth, she looks like a vampiric clown. I want to laugh, but I stuff a fork full of potato salad in my mouth instead. They can't possibly expect me to answer a question like that with a mouth full of food. Right?

"Well?"

"Mrufth."

"Really, Nick? Tell us what's going on."

I freeze like a deer in headlights. All eyes are on me; I want to run. I want to scream, but these are my friends. We are a family, created in love and survival. I shouldn't been running from them; I should be running towards them. I stammer and stutter to find my words.

"Its bad, guys. Jason is back."

"Niki"

Image: Tom Curtis / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I could smell the barbecue floating on the evening breeze. It was warm and quiet here by the river. I took my shoes off so I could dip my toes into the lazy water. After an hour, I thought that someone would come looking for me, but they must all be too busy having fun. If I listened hard enough I could hear laughter riding on the barbecue scented wind. This should be easy; its summer I have nothing to worry about. Right? But, I still have that nagging feeling in the back of my skull. I should be doing something, or at least remembering what I forgot to remember.
"You've got nothing to worry about, Niki."
I could have slapped her. But, Anna never knows what's going on. Its easy to give excuses to girls like Jenny, with her head full of air and all. It wasn't just her, nobody knew. How could anyone know? I never told them. This was my secret and my burden to bare. I would just laugh off their comments about my strange behaviors and topsy-turvy schedule.
"Niki!"
"Anna, I'm over here."
"What are you doing? You missed the craziest game," she paused trying to gage my lack of interest "anyways, din is on and we are all starvin'."
"Yeh, my toes are all raisins, so dinner sounds good."
I picked up my shoes and followed Anna. The katydids broke out in song as we climbed the hill back to the clearing. It was a sad tune. I regretted coming along on this adventure when I saw my best friends lined along picnic tables laughing, eating and living. I was dead inside and they could no longer help me.