"Untitled"

A broken doll sits in a windowsill.
At the moment there is nothing but sorrow.

Words escape without much thought.
It cannot be done.
It shouldn't be over.

The clock is still ticking.
Tick-tock.

In pain nothing makes sense.
Scrambled signals between a brain and heart.
It shouldn't be over.

When the doll fixes herself.
You've witnessed a miracle.

It's all a mess.
Words all over the page.
I can't be over.

The clock stops every moment.
Just for a second.

Time stands still.
There you can find love.

In between the moments.

A doll sits on the windowsill.
Listening for the pauses.
Tick....
Tock....

Love it there.
You just need to know where to look.

"The Fabulous Miss. L & her Paper Doll"

Photo by tamsplayground

She is a whispy, willowy thing, practically transparent
She looks like she could float off in the breeze
But she is willful and pungent
Completely full of spunk and Miss. L loves her so

They are a fabulous duo
making the world better
with their grace and elegance

Separated by ignorance.
Will Miss. L ever know how much her paper doll loves her?

A woman made of paper is easy to see through.
Everything that she does is for her little L.
Her whole world torn by ignorance.

Miss. L is fabulous because of the love of her paper doll.
The two of them would take the world by storm,
Nothing would be the same.

In a fairytale I would tell of the Miss. L and her paper doll,
In the world a paper doll couldn't survive alone.

But I believe in miracles. Because I have seen a paper doll without her little girl.
She survives and thrives, without her heart, and Miss. L, well, she owns the dolls heart without knowing it.

The story of the fabulous Miss. L and her paper doll should have been beautiful,
But it is one of sorrow and ripped paper.

Changes

I have never been a fan of change. It is often forced and painful. But when we choose to change and rise above the stigma of change, we grow.

I am going through a major change in my life. A relationship of 9 years, over....
 Living on my own for the first time in 35 years....
A chance to grow and be the me that's more me than I've ever been.

I have been living a life full of expectations and being the self that I thought I should be. I am going to a place where the only expectations are my own and I don't have to be anything.

I will always be me. But in my life I have never just been Melanie. The woman. The amazing soul with something worth giving to the world.

I have been so much for so many people and now.... Now I can be me for me.

It is terrifying!

I know that I am ready for this change and chance to grow, but the process is scary. To be alone is my biggest fear. I let that fear turn me into something that I was not. I let that fear tear my life apart. I allowed fear to run my life. There is no one to blame for this but myself. I am ready for the change.

But to say goodbye to my life...
I am torn.

I had dreams and plans in this life. Now it is over. I have a new life ahead of me and again, I am terrified. I don't know what it will look like or who I will be when all is said and done. I don't like unknowns.

I like to plan things out and have dreams. All I can think about now is surviving. I know that is the fear and I need to nip it in the bud.

I am saying goodbye to my dream life that wasn't going to happen because I was living in fear. I am saying goodbye to someone that I loved for what seemed like my whole life. I am saying goodbye to expectations. And I will say goodbye to fear.

Changes are terrifying and wonderful. I am ready to grow. I can't wait to see where life will take me next.

"Storm"

There is a storm.

Inside. 

I feel it coming. 

Raging against logic.

Emotions.

Tearing at my heart.

My soul weaps. 

There is a storm.

Inside. 

Coming. 

Confusion sets in. 

It begins to rain.

My soul weaps.

There is a storm.

Here. 

Inside.