About pain and food.

My pain radates throughout my body. The right side of my body screams with pain. Some days are worse than others. Today is a bad day. So, what does one do?

Today, being Sunday, I was able to rest/sleep and ice my sore spots on and off all day. But there are days, when it is unbearably and I have so much to day. These are the days when I am in a very bad mood.

I can't shake this feeling that my body hates me. Again.

There was a sweet spot when I was able to walk a couple of miles or workout along with my favorite video. I felt better about myself, as a person and my body as the vessel for my being. I began to understand that my body didn't hate me, but hated what I did to it.

Food.

The power of thought and fruit

"What you resist persists," stop and just let that sink in. Carl Jung was either being brilliant or rediculous when he said this. 

Our thought have power. Wait! Our thoughts have power? How? No, this must be bullshit. 

I call malarkey.  

If I think of a banana right now, a banana won't materialize out of thin air and neither will money, love, or x,y,z. 

However....

If I think of a banana for 5 minutes a day for a week, what do you think my chances of going to a grocery store and NOT buying bananas are? 

Seriously, obsessing over the negatives in your life is like trying not to buy bananas. If this blog is resonating with you at all or if you are hungry, right now, I bet that you are thinking about bananas.  

Go ahead, try not to think about a bright yellow banana, sweet and tender. 

I dare you!!!!

Double dog dare you!!!!

Negative thoughts are like not thinking about bananas. Once you get them stuck in your head they pop up whenever they want to. In a meeting - banana! In the shower - banana! Driving home from work - banana! 

These negative thoughts are just thoughts, though. Just like thinking about bananas isn't the same as holding a ripe banana in your hand, but I bet that thinking leads to doing. In this case you are probably going to be buying or eating a banana really soon. 

Thinking leads to actions. It's the same with any thought. 

Positive thoughts lead to positive actions. 

Negative thought lead to negative actions. 

What makes this concept so hard to grasp? "What you resist persists!" Resisting something takes a lot of thought and effort. Try not to think about a banana! 

Damn it!

I'm trying to keep you from thinking, buying and eating bananas here. I am failing. 

Resisting something takes energy. Energy is a constant it is neither created nor destroyed. Resisting something takes energy from you and puts it out into the universe. This energy will bounce back at you, at some point.  

Who did I lose? This isn't easy: this isn't hard. Try not to think about a banana, but do so because you want an orange. 

Ah!

Resisting needs to be countered. To stop the negative thoughts, replace them with what you want/need. Think of oranges, the sweet and almost sticky smell. Think of the smooth but ruff skin that is thick and protective. Think of the juicy, tangy, sugary flesh that explodes when you bite into it. 

What is a banana again? 

By replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts, you can open the world for yourself. 

Your thoughts lead your actions. Remember this and go get some fruit. 

A quick peek inside my mind

Pinterest

yes, the best way to look inside of my mind is to look at my Pinterest & i mean really look at the page. don't just get happy and start pinning away yourself. look at my boards & the organization they are in [yes, i organize my boards]. you can see how i process & group information. you can also see which ideas are new and interests me the most [these are the boards at the end that may not have much substance, yet]

social media is such an interesting view into each others' minds. i love to look around at how other people see the world. as a result of our new mindset to post, post, post, you can tell which issues are important to those around you & really see what information catches their attention. 

i know a person that upset some of her closest friends by what she posted during 'the month of thanks' for the thanksgiving holiday. she revealed more than she had intended, by the order of her thankfulness. some may call her shallow, some may call her friends shallow, but i know one thing for sure, this view of her would not exist if it wasn't for social media. 

i try to be aware of the things that i post. i want to be authentic and true to myself, but i am a woman known for her quick change of emotion. i try not to post emotionally charged posted, all except for my poetry. this isn't an easy tasks. i am aware that i may be judged in the future by the things i have posted in the past. 

my opinion on the fairness of my personality being questioned by an employer [or stranger] based off a post is moot. it happened to me in the age of MySpace. right from the beginning i have been keenly aware that i am judged by people i don't know. 

all i can do is be myself & know that it's good enough. i challenge everyone to follow suit. 

The 21 Day Fix

I am starting a new round of the 21 Day Fix. It has been a couple of months since I last lost 10 pounds on the Fix. I have been feeling gross and I know that it is from my old eating habits (too much sugar, and not enough meals) creeping back in. I really feel as though the 21 Day Fix is the answer to fixing my bad habits. I feel energized & healthy wen I follow the meal guide. I am hoping to fit exercise into my daily routine, too. I am still struggling with my ankle & my hip is always a concern. But, I know that sitting around and waiting for some miracle cure isn't getting me anywhere, so I am working on stretching & I will get up and move.

Time passes

It has been over a year since I have last posted. There are so many things going on in my life, but I don't blog the way that I used to - back in the day of MySpace. Ah, MySpace. I am not ashamed to say that I miss that glitter filled wonderland of social media. My page with its own sound track & yes, you must listen to my music when visiting my page. But, really, I miss the ease of having a blog right there on my social media. Now, it's 140 characters & studies prove that people won't read long posts (my own reading of my news feed proves this point).

I have this odd habit of starting new blogs. I currently have 2 other blogs that lay dormant & somewhere in the vast space of the inter-nets, I have a blog that I started before social media was a coined term; long before Facebook or MySpace. In the area of dial-ups and AIM, I had a blog. I miss my journaling for the masses. Because really, that is what this is. Self-release to the public.

Ah... I found a list (you know how I love lists)

http://www.gurl.com/2013/08/15/internet-trends-stuff-from-early-2000s-1990s/

I miss so many of those things and some not at all... it is missing ICQ and then there was GeoCities *sigh*

I wonder if I am now blogging in a early 2000 style. It feels old school to me. 15 years ago is old school, but that makes me want to cry for a different reason. I have been on a computer since 1987. Let's not talk about old school computer stuff, people, I started with DOS.

So, what is THIS blog? My issue lays in the original collection of entries on this blog. It was created as an outlet for my creativity. I don't need something, so... limiting *eek* but I do need my blog. I guess that having one or two readers wouldn't be so bad either. I know that Beth, Ron & Crystal will be out there somewhere - at some point. Ron, what was your favorite blog platform? What do you guys miss from years on the internet?

For now, I say good-night. Soon I will write more. Soon.

My 100 blog posting

I have been reading my old blog on myspace. It wasn't even my first blog. I didn't realize how long that I've been blogging, but it's over 10 years. So, this is - by far - not my 100 blog posting ever. Just # 100 here!

Still this is something to celebrate. I was hoping for 365 postings my first year here, but my project failed me.

I feel a strange emptiness in my writing after reading my postings from 7 years ago. I was unabashedly blogging out my life. Now I can't turn out a single blog without tossing the idea around for a few days. 

I wasn't going to make this a personal blog. It was for my writing, but there is nothing more personal than my poetry.

*Simple musings* that is what I called the blog after the project was ended. It's about time that I getting musing!

Your's truly, 
Melanie Ann

The early end to my project

Much to my dismay & my readers disappointment, my project entitled 'a year with melanie ann' has been put to an early end. I was planning on writing every day for a year. But I have had too much life this year to keep up with the project. HOWEVER, this is a good thing (of sorts) because I am going to start writing again. Just not only fiction. I am full of opinions & would love to share them. Plus, I have a notebook full of fiction that I wrote for the project but didn't have time to blog. I think that this change will be for the best (for you my loyal fans/readers & for myself).

Cheers!