Hate

I am angry with myself.
It's more of a habit.

Image by Jim Blob Blann

Why not just blame yourself?
It seams like the thing to do.

Hurting yourself is easy,
When there is no one to stop
Those awful things you say
To yourself.

I remind myself that I am loved;
That must mean that I am worth loving,
                                                        Right?
There is something that nags at my soul.

Hating others is frowned upon, but
Hating yourself is the thing to do.
Everyone says they wish they were
Something else, someone else.

I look in the mirror and wish
That I could see me, instead of
Seeing myself through the eyes of
Others - Others that hate.

Hating others is frowned upon, but
Hating differences is the thing to do.
I am different, can you love me?
I blame myself for not being the same.

"Boundless"

I find myself bound by a boundless abyss of thoughts and words

There is a voice in my ears... the music fills my soul
but I am empty

Where are the words going?
  where do they come from?
       why do they mock me?

Bound by words
  I do not know

My theory is that
there is endless verse     somewhere inside of me

The music distracts

How do I find this verse?
   How do I find my way through the words?

Where am I?
  Where are the words?

I just can compete with a boundless supply of verse
   Pandora's box is open

 and my ears weap
my eyes bleed

I cannot take this distraction - life

To live is to write
   to write I must pause
stop living

PAUSE


Stop and breath

Think

Thank

Trivial things cloud my boundless verse

I find myself being quant and its useless
   Bored of monotony
        Bored of monotone thought

Wake work wrecked
   Weekend warrior

Boundless words
Boundless verse
Boundless crap

I am being - what's the word - boring?
Quant? - I said that
Trivial? - I used spellcheck
Trite? - Isn't that a fish?

No.

I am a boundless soul, bound by my verse.

There is so much joy
and so much sorrow

I ask how you are doing

You say that you don't know
The honesty of the statement echoes
in the void between breathes

"Kinzy"

Your smile
brightens the room
more than the sun

Your laugh
makes everyone forget
to be sad

Your strength
makes me want to be
a better person

You are a miraculous gift
an Angel from above

You are love!

"Too tired"

I am too tired
 Too tired to read
 Too tired to write
 Too tired to think
Please, would someone
  wish me, good-nite

Good night poem

A poem I wrote tonight. In my own handwriting.

"Half asleep"

Drift away little fairy
Float across the bridge of my nose
Twinkle bright
Sparkle boldly

I rub my eyes
I see stars

Sweet fairy whispering
Tell me all the secrets of life
How to rule
How to be the queen

I open my mouth
I let out a long yawn

Dear fairy don't leave me tonight
Guard me and keep my safe
Sweet dreams
Good night

"A new poem"

I wanted to write a new poem
Something that would touch my readers
Something that would paint a picture on the screen

Digital poetry is boundless

and yet               I stutter



my empty space speaks volumes
as for my words
my works
me

I am left wanting
wanting a new poem

Something that is emotional
Something that is raw
Something real

... something

"Wishing for a dream"

Close your eyes, my love.

Go to sleep.
The Land of Nod awaits.

Your dreams will take you

Away....

"Reflections"

Dreamy girls' reflections at sea, a photo by Amsterdam RAIL on Flickr.

I think that I am missing something
Forgetting the importance of the night
  Remembrance, reflection, relating
  Ridiculous, ranting, raving
There is a word that people use
  On this night - resolution
I think that I am missing something
Forgetting the importance of the word
  Relevant, repetitious, resolutions
Maybe I am not the one missing it
Forget empty promises & live life


  

The sun

I knew you, when the sun was brighter and warmer. I would bask in your light, as you shined, illuminating our home. You were brilliant! You were beautiful! You were amazing! You were my sun and I was your sunshine. These things cannot last long - they never do. I can't remember why you faded. I don't remember how or when. I do know that there is still a light inside of you - behind the pain. I remember you, shining like the sun. I remember sitting at your feet and dreaming of being everything that you were - then. I remember praying for your beauty to be passed down to me. I loved you like a flower loves the sun - following you, drinking you into me, growing off of your energy. But when a sun dies, it becomes a black-hole. I was sucked in. I was crushed. When you blackened, I lost my sun - not my love. Now I pray that I can shine upon you. I dream that we could shine together - for I love you - now and always, my sun.

"Restless"

Restless
  rest  less
Yearning for more
  a desire to be
    whole
Floating through the fog
  of exhaustion
Stretched too thin
No goals
  no progress
    no way out
  rest  less
An inch, too hard to reach
  yearning for more
    a desire to have
  peace
Wanting everything
  reaching nothing
Remaining
Restless

written on May 12th, 2011

"So quiet, so still"

The silence stings my ears
so quiet, so still

Alone with my thoughts
so quiet, so still

My mind wanders between a beautiful peace
    & earth shaking uncertainty
Fear often takes over in the silence

I am frightened of it all
so quiet, so still
Someone rescue me
so quiet, so still.

"Saying goodbye"

Lay your flowers on the dirt
Water them well with your tears
It will never be enough to simply miss her
Your heart is too scared to beat again
    horrified to lose her, again
Words fail as your tongue is humbled 
The wind wraps around you
    hugging you one last time
Her life goes on through your memories
Be strong, hold her high
Say good-bye

"Bird"

A bird sits on an empty hand - waiting
Fluffing her wings - wondering
Calling out with a sweet song - worried
"Will he ever notice that I am a gift,
       to be loved, 
       cared for, and
       appreciated?"

Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

"Love, peace & happiness"

Wondrous light
Shine upon us
Guide us to a place of
  love
Fill us with unending
  peace
Remind us of the power of
  happiness 

"Tapping on the keyboard"

Inspiration lagging
  tap, tap, tap
Formation of words
Dancing in my head
  tap, tap, tap
Swashing ideas
  tap, tap
Mindfully ignoring
My greatest thoughts
  tap, tap, tap, tap
Stories are fleeting
Characters running
Fragments of my imagination
  tap, tap, tap
Is this really the end?

"Fool"

Fugaciouly flittering forward,
  floundering for forgiveness.
Fervently fighting for favor
  from fancied former flames.
Falling face first,
  flopping franticly for firm foundation.
Frenzied fool!

"Lamentations 1:9"

"She did not consider her destiny;
Therefore her collapse was awesome;
She had no comforter."

falling without love

blackness swallows her

tumbling within herself

unable-to swallow truth

living with no regard 

to heaven.

"Peace"

Perfect love
Energizing my soul
A beautiful moment
Creating memories
Enjoying every day